Expert advice, not so "expert"

This is something I am pretty passionate about, as you will see.
OK, so as a new mom with no experience in even so much as changing a diaper, I have a lot to learn. Initially I relied on the guidance of others for a lot of things that I was unsure about. Things like how much to feed him, how to tell if he was warm or cold, napping, and things like that. I did a lot of online research for questions too, and that proved to be helpful because I often got many points of view that gave me a starting point for my own direction. Then there were the self proclaimed "experts" that voiced in on things I didn't ask about, or offered advice beyond what I needed. Once I got off the ground running, I seldom asked for advice on much anyway unless it was unknown territory. So my problem? I was getting advice on what worked for someone elses children, grandchildren, cousins' children, nieces, nephews and various others. All those ideas and suggestions were well intentioned, but not necessarily what would work for MY son. After a few disasters resulting from trying these unsolicited suggestions, I finally put the kibosh on all further advice unless I asked for it, which I swore to myself I wouldn't do unless I was desperate.

Make no mistake, I was not ungrateful for the advice and suggestions of others. After all, they meant well and only wanted to help, but it backfired. A thought to all new moms out there: While advice is a good starting point, you must understand that your little one is unique and you will have to learn what works for them. From everything to sleeping habits/routines to eating/feeding. Even advice from your own mother on what worked for you when you were a baby should not be taken as gospel. What worked for you as an infant is not always what will work for your little one. My suggestion to all new moms is to listen to and trust your instincts, do research to get different perspectives and when all else fails, have your pediatrician on speed dial. Most of the time if you take the cues from your little one, they will tell you exactly what they need. It takes some practice to learn what they are telling you, but it won't take you long. You will make mistakes, as God knows I have, but you learn from these mistakes so you can get right the next time.

And to all those advice givers: Telling other moms to go ahead and give their child some rice cereal to help them sleep, or feed them solid foods to help colic or any other possible discomfort is NOT your call. At the risk of sounding repetitive, what worked for your child, cousin's child, niece, nephew or whoever is not necessarily what is right for someone elses child, and since you neither know the child nor have a medical degree, it is best you keep your "expert" advice to yourself and merely recommend they speak to their pediatrician. It really burns me up to read some of the advice given on community forums like they have the credentials to be telling some new, unsuspecting mom that any of this is OK, when it may not be. Of course it also burns me up that new moms ask such serious questions on these forums when they most definitely should be speaking to their pediatrician! I would never have approached a forum with something like how to treat an allergic reaction to something or what to do if he has a fever. But there are some moms who do ask these questions, and other moms that think that just because their child survived their methods that it's good for any child. SO NOT TRUE! The American Academy of Pediatrics has done so many studies and has no much new information every year that the advice one mom may give may be just the opposite of what pediatricians are recommending. Like the rice cereal suggestion to help infants sleep longer at night? WRONG! In many studies, this is not so, and in fact the introduction of solids, including rice cereal, too early can result in digestion issues for the rest of their life. Also, colic is often not colic at all. Don't just keep pacifying or feeding them and finding ways to quiet them, because they may be in pain from an undiagnosed case of reflux. This can be devastating to such a small, helpless infant. Monitor the symptoms and report them to your pediatrician. There may be something treatable going on with your angel, and why wouldn't you offer them relief if it is available rather then letting them suffer needlessly?

I am just saying to all moms out there, some questions are meant to be directed to someone with medical credentials. Don't go around casually asking serious questions, and don't go around offering "expert" advice unless you are truly an expert!