Bedtime Baby

OK, so here are all the things I have learned so far about bedtime and sleeping for babies.
Ever since Isaac came home from the hospital at three days old, nighttime has been the biggest difficulty for most of the nights of the last 10 months. I have researched this topic MANY times and received countless tips (all unsolicited, thank you very much), all to be left the same way as I began: tired. I now clearly understand that babies are like fingerprints: no two are alike, and this goes for their sleeping habits. The books written on the topic tend to put all children into the same "one size fits all" basket when the opposite is true. NOT all babies sleep through the night at 3 months of age and onward; in fact, most babies DO NOT. Perhaps people in your immediate circle (you being whoever should read this) may tell you otherwise because in their expert experience babies should be sleeping through the night by their third month. Maybe even your Pediatrician offered condolences and told you what to do to make them sleep better, but unless your child does fit into the mold, it is just not in the cards. Mine, as I suspect is the case of countless other parents, does not fit this mold. So let me debunk the sleeping myths that I have most commonly heard so far:
In the earliest stages, babies will wake every 2-3 hours to feed since their tummies are small and cannot hold enough to get them through a night. Also, these youngest ones do not yet know days and nights so their sleep patterns take time to regulate. This is mostly true for most babies, but it also depends on what the baby is being fed and at what hour they eat before being put down in their crib for bed. This may also depend on if the baby is co-sleeping. My little guy was on formula at the onset for reasons I could not escape or change. He slept 3-4 hours at a time and learned his days and nights quickly. He slept well at the beginning and after his feedings went back to sleep easily. I kept his routine exactly the same, as the experts recommend, until he made me change it. By three months old, he was sleeping for 8 hour stretches but only did so for about 3 weeks. Growth spurts will also affect the sleep routines, and illnesses like acid reflux can wreak havoc on any night for a long time!
Adding rice cereal to a baby's bottle at night will fill their tummy up more and they will sleep longer. This is just not true, even if our mother and grandmother says it is so. It is not, and the APA vehemently advises against this unless their are pressing health reasons to do it, and even then advise with caution. At an early age, my little guy stopped sleeping through the night and became very fussy. He had terrible acid reflux, and was put on meds, but even this didn't help him sleep through the night. This is when the Dr advised to add small amounts of rice cereal to his bedtime bottle ONLY and the reason was to help with the reflux. It had nothing to do with filling up his tummy. In fact, she told me, that adding solids like this to a babies diet TOO EARLY can create lifelong digestive issues and should be avoided unless all other efforts fail. I chose not to add the cereal to his bottle until he was just about 4 months old, which is the earliest age recommended by the APA to begin adding solids to their diets, and this depends on each individual baby's growth and development. His sleep improved as the meds helped his reflux and the rice cereal made no difference at all.
Babies should stop waking for nighttime feedings by the time they are 5/6 months old. This myth came straight from his previous pediatrician's mouth. Hence why it is his previous pediatrician. He literally told me to stop giving it to him and just put the baby back to sleep if he wakes. Yeah...any parent who has ever tried weaning their little one off the nighttime feeding knows the difficulty involved, and that you cannot do it cold turkey. The new pediatrician offered some concurrence to the suggestion, but added that not every child can get through a night without a feeding at that age, especially with a record of rapid growth. Mine had rapid growth recorded so far throughout his short life, and was not about to stop eating his one nighttime bottle. The new Dr suggested to try gradually watering the bottle down (and added that this is not a common recommendation, but according to my breakdown, Isaac was getting plenty of formula for his age and size through the day, so he did not need any more at night). Once the bottle was just water, he should stop waking for it. This idea worked within 6 weeks or so, but I would never tell another parent to try it unless they first speak to their Dr. I cannot stress enough that every baby is different and this may not be best for others if the circumstances are different.
Babies should be getting 10-12 hours of sleep per night and1-2 hours worth of naps during the day by 9 months old, and should be sleeping 8 hour stretches through the night. My answer: malarkey. I have done extensive research on this and learned that most parents report their child not sleeping through the night until they were about 2 years old, and any experts that say otherwise is reporting of the exception, not the norm. I agree with most parents, since I am one. The experts that suggest 9 month olds normally sleep 8 hour stretches through the night clearly haven't surveyed many average parents. In fact, there are even expert articles that contradict the experts! Like for example, from 8-12 months of age, most children wake through the night and struggle to get themselves back to sleep as we do when we reach adolescence because they have not yet learned how. We all wake through the night but we go back to sleep so quickly that we rarely recall the episodes when we wake in the morning. For infants age 8-12 months, the reality is that they do wake every 3-4 hours. There are many different causes, such as: teething pain, separation anxiety, night terrors, growth spurts and possible illness. All articles remain consistent, though, on how to handle such wakings: Very limited interaction. Once illness is ruled out, do not pick them up, rock them, rub them or feed them, as they will begin to expect the same assistance every time in order to go back to sleep. Simply shush them, whisper to them if necessary, and patiently watch until they drift back off to sleep. If you feel comfortable, you may even given them a "security blanket" or favorite toy as long as it doe not pose suffocation risk while they sleep. The phase will pass and your consistency will be rewarded long term.
I have also learned that going forward, teething pain, growth spurts, separation anxiety and illness can continue to contribute to sleepless nights for quite some time, as well as nightmares when they reach about 2 years or so. So you can be rest assured (get the pun?) that sleep issues are the norm, and children who do not exhibit issues are the exception...
And my take on "cry it out"? That didn't work for us or Isaac...We did try it but it caused too much heartbreak, and there were no signs that it would work for him. We tried the Sears method, and stand by it 100%. He is a much calmer sleeper now, and he goes down without any fuss at all. He goes to sleep with little help from me, and does it within 20 minutes on average (on a good night, 10 minutes or less!).
On a side note, you might be wondering what "night terrors" are. They are not the same as nightmares, as little ones before the age of 2 years do not have nightmares. Night terrors are just different reactions to anxiety the little one may have. It can cause them to moan, cry or roll about their crib without actually waking up. This is the present case with Isaac. He is not in pain, not wet from his diaper, not hot or cold, and not hungry. He is also clearly asleep when we check on him. If this sounds like your little one, send me a message and I can tell you more of what I learned and experienced. But know that it is only a phase and will pass, and you baby is fine!